So Free and Democratic n’shit

A long long time ago before there were such things as politicians, people used to talk to each other and tell the truth. They simply spoke their thoughts and feelings and talked of their experiences and pondered life’s questions, sorrows and joys openly. They had nothing to hide and no reason to connive or contrive for people who were more than likely relatives anyway.

You’ll have to check me on this but I suspect that right after someone invented money the first politicians showed up, about five minutes later; and sadly it seems politicians will never go away. As long as there is money flowing freely out of the people’s pockets and into the tax man’s coffers, there will be politicians.

And as long as there are politicians they will do what politicians do, which is to loyally serve their only two real clients, the rich man and the tyrant, both of whom forever want only one thing: everything. They want more than anyone else, more than anyone needs, more than even makes sense. They want control over what is not theirs, because they want what is not theirs. They require special rules which exempt them from legal, moral and ethical behavior in order to get their hands on what is not theirs.

They also want other rules which will literally or figuratively disembowel anyone attempting to protect what belongs to them in order to keep it from being taken by the rich man and the tyrant. They want many special rules like exemptions from paying taxes, exemptions from legal responsibility for their harmful acts against others, and special legal privileges that allow them to pay cash to the state in lieu of life imprisonment or public hangings for felonious acts as would befit any other citizen. The politician’s job is to facilitate their clients receipt of these things.

The steps of facilitation are simple and straightforward. It is done by accepting generous amounts of money from their clients to purchase one or more performances, the standard political play-acting of saintly state’s rhetoric delivered with bellowing voice and masterful language, complete with fist pounding debate, name calling, character assassination, bribery, blackmail and so much more. Every trick and tool in the dirty little politician’s toolbox will be used behind the politician’s back while the front side delivers windswept drama dripping honey thick oration toward winning the objects of their dear and generous clients hearts.

All of these things are done while the politician publicly pronounces himself to be the trusted friend of the people, a friend wholly devoted to whatever they want to hear, a literal physical embodiment of lily white virtue and honor, a valiant protector of all that is righteous, noble and true; and most of all selfless. Politicians must scratch and claw their way to the tops of rarefied marble pedestals where they then are able to pronounce their selfless saintliness and honor to all the good citizens of the state, rich and poor alike. This is the first lie of politicians.

But it is hardly the last. When one’s first foot forward is a balls out, shameless and preposterous packet of lies, then nothing else can follow but more lies. Indeed, one must lie from that day forward about every single thing. As years go by, the depth, breadth and sheer number of lies, deceits and manipulations stack up into inextricably interconnected layers built up into great kingdoms made of stale, bug infested crackers. It is nothing but a house of cards, having no substance, no glowing record of good deeds done, no evidence of the people’s quality of life having improved, no trace of selflessness or all that much service.

There will be a great deal done that delivered generous portions of self-enrichment but these are never shared with the public, they are taken home and used to enjoy a much better quality of life than the average citizen could ever dream about. After achieving such a dubious track record, any grandiose proclamations of service and nobility are transparent enough to expose the facade of a crumbling cracker kingdom and to make clear the complete lack of shining alabaster castles and towers.

The jig should be up but the other politicians will now expound upon the noble and glorious career of their fellow public servant until he dies and then afterward too, because it is in their best interests to continue pushing the first lie of all politicians.

The people are always told that politicians are decent people with no personal agendas, qualified people, people who do not lie, cheat or steal, who love their country, love their people, worship the same God the public does, and work long, hard hours battling out legal concepts in order to ensure prosperity, freedom and democracy for all.

They have to say things like that because if they told you what they were really doing they’d be tarred and feathered and run out of town, or hung in the public stocks for weeks to let children laugh at them and throw rotten produce at them, and then they’d be executed for being the scum of the earth.

Because, in a nutshell, politics is a series of agreements made between the rich man and the state wherein the state holds you down so the rich man can rape you. There’s your prosperity, freedom and democracy right there.

Woohoo! More tax cuts for the rich!